Sue here and she'll come again on Wednesday morning to clean sitting room window and put up clean net curtains. Saul came to cut my toe nails ~ such a help ~ later Barbara came and took Rosemary's birthday card to post ~ have not seen Bev again today but Barbara was going to knock on her door. Two funny stories I heard today ~ a friend travelling to Scotland by coach had a bit of a premonition of a break down of a coach, and lo-and-behold the coach she was meant to be transferring to had indeed boken down ! And ~ oh shit ~ I've forgotten the other one ! Going down to mix batter for pancakes for supper # suddenly feel ravenous ! Later ~ bacon and mushroom feast, followed by last of the plums I sewed on Saturday and a small pot of custard ~ that's better.
Threw out two of the ghastly mats I have all over the house ~ pink and purple striped ~ I got them for John, for the kitchen of his bleak furnished flat up on Meadowfields ~ his daughter brought them over once he'd gone into a Home, poor old darling ~ there are still a couple up in the attic ~ they are indestructible (worse luck). Each day I aim to do one small EXTRA chore ~ clearing out a drawer, chucking out old unpublished work ~ it is making a difference already ~ ruthlessness is the important factor ~ it's too easy to inspect contents of a large plastic storage box and put everytfinding myself quite unable to dispose of any of it, putting everything back !! I must be stronger, firmer ~ right !
Tuesday afternoon ~ Chris came and fixed the problem on the computer which he says could be an indication the the hard drive is cracking up ~ scarcely surprising as I think I bought it all those years ago when I released some of the equity on the house so it's done pretty well ~ up till then I was working on an electric typewriter ~ let me see if I can check the date ~~ here we are ~ £40,000 released in October 2004~ debt now amounts to £96,000 ~ probably a stupid thing to do but at the time I was hanging on by my finger nails ~ it was this money that enabled me to buy the computer which both John and I used constantly ~ I'm sorry that my children will have to pay back this steadily-increasing debt to AVIVA but by then the house should be worth a fair amount ~ Beverley's place next door, for instance, is on the market for £185,000 and it is no more than the traditional Whitby cottage, three floored with a room on each floor whereas mine has two rooms on each floor and as the experts tell me, is not a cottage but a gem of a modest Georgian double fronted town house ... " Ayway, at the time I honestly had no choice ~ I seem to remember I was trying to get by on £35 a week and in serious danger of having gas and electricty cut off and the bank were washing their hands of me and insisting I sell the property.
I remember those gruesome times when if anyone made an offer, no matter how small, that would be it ~ by some miracle only two people came to view the property, one of them a retired clergy man ~ I sat by the Aga sobbing while he went round and when he'd done I begged him not to make an offer or I'd be out on the street, at which he went all pious : "The Good Lord will protect you, my girl . . . blah-blag-blah" I wanted to shriek at him," bugger you silly old fool ~ I'm done for !" But maybe, MAYBE . . . I'm still here ~ saved by releasing the equity ~ Praise the Lord or whoever/whatever came to my rescue ~ AVIVA acrually, AVIVA and the equity I was able to release. Oh my stars ~ it was a nightmare ! And it was then that Mother gave me the £27,00 to clear my debt at the bank though she was not a wealthy woman and this probably amounted to most of their life savings, our parents ~ and when my siblings learned what she had done, they all turned on me like a pack of wolves, three sisters and three brothers, although they had all had successful careers and comfortable lives. That was a frightful shock, realising how they hated and despised me for finding myself in such financial straits. Thankfully, I seem to have been forgivenm and we are all friends again now.
Sorry to moan on ~ we all have our bad times ~ the great thing is surviving them ~ and here I am 83 and in clover !